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I`m actually a pretty normal person when you ignore the faint cries for help coming from my basement..
That awkward moment, when you wake up with one sock on.
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
trying to do something before the microwave is finished is sort of like trying to complete the countdown maths problem on countdown...
If you`re able to roll over in your grave, you should save that energy for yelling and digging.
I don`t really want to hear about the marathon, unless of course, they add an element of suspense ... Like a Bear at mile 3
I dreamed about you last night, and so you know; Shame on you!!
Shout out to the post office for delivering my recycling to me every day.
Would I be in a porno for a million dollars? It depends. What kind of porn? Will my mom see it? Do I have to pay the million all at once?
I think my other three stove burners are becoming jealous of front-right.
Growing up we were so poor. If I wasn`t a boy I would have had nothing to play with.
I hate spelling errors so much. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined....
Pizza: Round food, cut into triangles and put into a square box.
If the best things in life really are free, why am I still getting charged at the liquor store? I call bullshit
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy