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For Valentine`s Day my wife wanted to.... well, you know. It started with her handcuffing me to the bed. And for three solid hours she watched whatever she wanted on television
I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
Anybody else have that annoying problem of Work and Family interfering with your FaceBook time?
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
Due to the weather, I was able to use the words "wet and slippery" at work all day without anyone thinking I`m a big perv.
Trying to figure out how to ask a girl on a first date of Netflix and pizza without sounding all serial killery
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
It`s amazing how I come up with my best status updates when I`m in the shower or when I`m driving. I think it has a lot to do with me being naked.
Before you judge me, know that I don`t give a crap. Ok, go ahead.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
You ever read a status, and you`re like, `what a f*ck up` and then you realize you`re on your own page?
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
Does this floor Iām laying on make me look unmotivated?