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If you figure me out I want an explanation.
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.
I just stepped on a cornfkake does that make me a cereal killer ?
I think it`s safe to take the fax numbers off our business cards, now, everybody.
Digging through a box in the closet, I found a picture of me sitting on Santa`s lap. Hard to believe that was almost a year ago.
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
Do good masochists go to heaven, or hell?
Do you think we like to sing in the shower because we all love a good soap opera?
There’s a police helicopter above my house right now, so I’m cashing in and calling everyone who has ever said “when pigs fly.”
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they`re going to be talking.
*pulls shirt back down* I guess I don`t understand what a flash mob actually is.
Things ain`t nobody got time for: That
Today I caught myself smiling… I was thinking of you… Don’t flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.