Daily Silly Status

I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.

If its so great outside why do bugs try to get in my f*cking house?

How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to

I`m always tempted to yell "Kevin!" mid-flight.

Non alcoholic beer is like a porn movie on the radio

If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)

Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Sex ed class should be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.

I feel sorry for historians, they have such a hard time letting go of the past.

Man what a day. I pulled my groin...for like 20 minutes.

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has to clean the bathroom at Taco Bell.

Survival rule #1: Don`t go first.

Did you know that DNA actually stands for "National Dislectic Association"

I miss the good old days..when you could slam the phone down.!!

I fight evil wherever it may be ... except in dark, scary places.