Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
It only takes a second to show someone how you really feel about them... the cops call it indecent exposure, but whatever
During Sex you burn as much calories as running 5 miles ... Who the f*ck runs 5 miles in 30 seconds.
I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I`ll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab.
A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else`s, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.
There are no problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
Everytime I find the key to happiness, somebody changes the lock.
Australian kiss. It`s kind of like a French kiss, but down under.
In terms of procrastination, I`ve had a very productive day.
OMG, you`re huge! There`s no way you`ll fit inside me.- My clothes probably.
Why is it called mooning when you`re actually showing uranus?
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational post are hard.
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.
That awkward moment when you forget what you’re watching during the commercial break.