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One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
E-Cigs. The great taste of water vapor, the cool look of blowing a flashlight.
Sarcasm. Because communicating with morons is hard.
Alcohol free beer is like ... orgasm free sex
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the coffee and went straight for the booze?
Tomorrow is Valentines day, a holiday that comes along once a year to remind you that if you don`t have a special someone...I guess your alone.
In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Happy New Year you guys.
I don’t trust public opinion polls because they don’t take into consideration the fact that the public is made up of mostly idiots.
Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
Thank God I still have a few days left to achieve my goal of “going to the gym in 2014.”
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
I don’t drink to forget, I… what was I saying?
People say that I have no idea what hard work is. That`s not true! I know exactly what it is... How do you think I avoid it so easily?