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The discharge paperwork at the hospital seems to be expedited a little quicker if you roam up and down the hall with the back of your hospital gown untied.
Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet as long as I don`t eat anything else today and tomorrow.
Partying on my level requires years of training.
Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here.
Sometimes all you need, is 500 million dollars.
Revenge is not in my plans. You`ll f*ck yourself on your own.
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I`m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
Somehow, hitting the "end call" button on the cell phone just doesn`t feel nearly as good as the old days when you could slam the phone down on somebody.
There`s a warning light on my dashboard of a vague exclamation point. It`s like when my girlfriend was mad at me and she wouldn`t say why.
Sometimes i wish i was an octopus, so i can slap eight people @ once!
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, "I`d so tap that."
They should make a "How It`s Made" episode on how "How It`s Made" is made.