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"There`s nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" -Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.
Dating a single mother is like pressing continue on some one elses saved game
sometimes... late at night... i rearrange traffic signs. people need to be challenged.
Please just put it in the fridge.... We`ll throw it away next week.
Don`t mistake my middle finger as an offer.
When people have cars as their profile picture I automatically presume they are a transformer.
This recliner and I go way back.
A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work.
There are people on Facebook who don`t realize the difference between "What`s on your mind" or "I should talk to a therapist about this"
Let’s all agree to stop saying “I read about it somewhere” and admit that we saw it on Law and Order.
And the day after Christmas has revealed that the holiday is just an elaborate ruse to get you home to fix your parents computer problems.
If Guys Wrote Valentine’s Cards: “I don’t even need beer to think you’re attractive.”
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
If by "crunches" you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then yes, I do crunches.
if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.