Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Out of all the lies I`ve ever told, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
I solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet.
It`s not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
I gave my boyfriend a glue stick instead of a Chapstick last weekend, and he`s still not talking to me!
I want to start a womans magazine called "Period". ..then every few months I`ll send it out late JUST to freak them out. ;)
I always see more people walking into Sam`s Club than out of Sam`s Club, but the meat`s cheap, so I don`t ask questions.
Please drink responsibly this weekend and don`t drink and dri......Wait this is Facebook, most of you probably won`t leave the house! ... Good talk!
If anybody tells you you’re putting too much Parmesan on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don’t need that negativity in your life.
Roasting marshmallows is great because it combines dessert and playing with fire.
why would i ever pay to go to a nascar event when i could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free
I love when people dig their own grave. It saves me so much time.
I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep
Got tasered at speed dating again.
Dont freeze your Common sense in the process of being COOL.
Been there, done that. allegedly