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How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
A broken clock is right twice a day. I guess what I am saying is, that a broken clock is right more than you.
IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
I`m selling my browser history on eBay before the government does.
Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they’re fighting over the world’s last Oreo.
If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I`d probably choose beer.
The mechanic asked if I wanted my tires rotated and I was like, "No thanks, I`m pretty sure they do that all by themselves while I`m driving"
Mark my words: In a year, the leading cause of death will be “Beaten to death with a selfie stick”
Wait, carjacking doesn`t mean masturbating in my vehicle? Then no, I didn`t get arrested for carjacking.
Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.
I`m smiling ... You should be scared.
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.