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I downloaded this app called "Hide & Go Seek". Ever since then I cant find my damn phone.
Sometimes, numbers are the only thing you can truely count on.
You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks you what you like to do for fun.
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
Just think about all the stuff you aren`t thinking about.
"Let`s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise" - sports fans
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
You had me at "I hate that b!tch too".
There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
Apparently you can not demand to be strip searched.
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
Happy Fathers Day from your handsomerist and smarterist son
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him.. :|
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can’t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
When I text someone and they don`t text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted from the excitement.