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Decisions decisions ... Guess I`ll drink on it.
No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don`t Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out a$$.
I`m fortunate that anger and nicotine have zero calories.
I found a spider in my shoe. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I’m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
I try to find the good in every situation. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together
A group hug in my family means someone wants to use you as a napkin.
If I`m ever in the hospital on Life Support, don`t just pull the plug. Pull it and plug it back in. Basically, see if you can reboot me.
I`m a little Stressed right now ... Just turn around and leave quietly and no one gets hurt.
What kind of downward spiral would cause a person to "like" cream cheese on Facebook?