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If your Facebook post requires me to hit “continue…” get a diary.
I can tell exactly how much someone weighs by how much noise they make when I push them down the stairs.
Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.
The only thing worse than dramatic girls facebook statuses…dramatic guys Facebook statuses.
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy...so I came back drunk.
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
I miss that feeling you`d get at the video store when you discovered the movie you wanted to rent was available.
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
Don`t bother trying to figure me out...not even the little voices in my head understand me...it`s pointless.
Do these people in movies who wander off into the woods alone at night not watch movies?
Spoiler alert: Your `97 Nissan Sentra doesn`t need one.
Adam Levine beating me out for sexiest man contest is complete bullsh*t.
It bothers me when I see tax money wasted on signs telling deer where to cross the road.