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Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.
is on a Mission. The magic leprechaun told me to follow the pink racehorse to the rainbow where the orange elephant is holding my skittles hostage
Vodka and denial are cheaper than therapy.
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become
If everything tastes like us, why do we have to die? –Chickens
Work like you don`t have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at
Monday comes saturday ends and somewhere in between i realized i slept the weekend away....):
The last 10 seconds of every voicemail my grandmother leaves me is her trying to hang up the phone.
I went for a 6 mile run tonight. The police are getting in much better shape these days.
Any amusement you may have experienced from my past posts are in no way a guarantee of future performance.... Please initial here and sign here.
It`s almost 2014, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram have taught us that for every giant technological leap ahead, we will find a way to use it for dumb sh!t.
How much Hershey`s Chocolate Syrup can I add before it`s really not a SlimFast shake anymore?
You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)
Several decisions I make on a daily basis hinge upon the question "illegal or just frowned upon?"