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So you`ll be able to buy Girl Scout Cookies online this year ... Your move Weight Watchers
Looks like I won`t be updating my status today...
I had the urge to clean my place today so I laid down until the urge went away.
People who think I’m not a religious person should see me when the airplane starts to shake.
Coffee : Starter fluid for the morning impaired.
Three weeks without a signal typo!
Hey! Wanna make $$$$$$ fast? Just follow my simple instructions. 1:Hold down the Shift key 2:Press the number 4 six times. It’s that easy.
Why does whoop-ass only come in a can?
I don`t need drugs to have a good time, I need them to focus, avoid depression, endure winter, fall asleep, and controll my high blood pressure
Tattoos are an expensive and painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification.
Holiday cards, when you care enough to let friends, family, customers & clients see how your handwriting hasn`t improved since fourth grade.
The problem in general terms is that people suck.
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
Confuse your coworkers today by telling them you`re going to the restroom to do a "number 3"
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store