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Just deserts: When a cashier hands you dollar bills back as change. Hold them up to the light like they do when you pay them.
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
The hardest part of the job interview is knowing the best moment to lean in for the kiss.
My life is like a romantic comedy expect there’s no romance and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes
So no pizza place on Ninja Turtles ever questioned the delivery address being “The Sewer”
I always honk when I drive by homeless guys sleeping, just in case they overslept for a meeting
I`m bringing sexy back...if I only I can remember where I had it last....
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
i hope your life is as long and useful as this roll of toilet paper!!!
OMG!! IT`S MONDAY ... What the f*ck do you think comes after Sunday, Sunday JR. ?
Remember, you can always run from your problems. Unless your problem is a Cheetah.....then you`re screwed!
Don’t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I’ve changed since then.
Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
They ordered two extra large pizzas at work. I wonder what everyone else is going to eat.
Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.