Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn`t think.
Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
One advantage of growing old is you don`t have to worry about hackers stealing your nude pics out of the cloud.
Went to my friends house with my girlfriend today. As we walked in I noticed her phone automatically connected to his wifi. That f*cking slut.
What do they give the person that has everything? antibiotics
If you`re a girl and you drink Vodka... there`s a high probability, I love you.
Life is a constant battle between my love of food & not wanting to get fat.
Who decided to call the man purse a satchel and not a douchebag?
My boss told me that there is no such thing as problems, only opportunities. I said, “That’s great. Well I have a serious drinking opportunity.”
The hostess said to sit wherever I want, but the couple at this table are giving each other weird looks and have totally stopped talking.
My neighbor`s facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.
I`ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
I don`t need drugs to have a good time, I need them to focus, avoid depression, endure winter, fall asleep, and controll my high blood pressure
Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box.