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Does anyone have the recipe for ice cubes? Asking for a friend.
I believe in love at first episode.
If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don`t want it.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
I don’t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked “do you have any firearms with you?” do not reply “what do you need?”
I just read more people are killed by toasters than sharks.So if you`re swimming in the ocean and see a toaster SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!
Yes, autocorrect, that`s right. I hate that stupid ditch
I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.
My original account got suspended for aggressive behavior and they haven`t even seen me in bed yet.
I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year!
is it too late to wrap myself up like a baby and drop myself off on a billionaire’s doorstep
Save water, shower together.
Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it`s lettuce.
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?