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Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
I’m a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity.
Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf
Sure, Men love funny women. As long as they are pretty...and skinny...and they have a great pair of knockers!!
During sex, my wife always wants to talk to me? Just the other night she called me from some hotel.
Facebook looks so boring on the outside, but once you start using it, its like NARNIA BRO!
The first person who discovered how to make popcorn must have been like "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!"
It`s time to wave goodbye to winter. Guess what finger I`ll be using?
People who describe things as “better than sex” are having the wrong kind of sex.
I wouldn`t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
I don`t like it here anymore. As soon as I find my pants, I`m leaving!
All I’m saying is you don’t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas…
Not to brag, but most of the problems that take Dora the Explorer 30 minutes to figure out, I can solve in like 18-20 minutes.
When someone wants to talk behind your back, FART!