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I thought we had something. You met my family, made us dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
Unless its inappropriately, don`t f*cking touch me.
I`m watching a show about surviving in the wild in case I ever decide to log off and go outside.
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.
Don`t look at me in that tone of voice...
"I like your tree`s earring." ... "That`s a tire swing."
What kind of wine goes best with laundry?
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found
The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.
Where did all the people walking around with boomboxes in the 80s go? I`m concerned
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.
7.1 billion people in the world. 0 willing to lower their standards and date me.
This is supposed to be funny but I got nothing but do me a favour and like this...Yeah, okay, IM DESPERATE -.-