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FINALLY home from work! So, yea...if your phone number is on your profile...I will be drunk dialing you in about 30 minutes or so.
Age has its advantages. Too bad I can`t remember what they are.
This dishwasher sucks. It`s already ruined three of my paper plates.
I should be cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl today cause I have a feeling I`ll be hunched over hugging it later tonight.
Here`s a list of helpful tips for meeting a great girl: 1. Don`t be me.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer !
My moral in life is simple. You treat me good and I`ll treat you better.
Don’t get your panties in a bunch. The nicer ones are sold individually.
Hot singles in your area are dating each other while you sit alone staring at your phone.
No matter how many lives you have in Candy Crush, you’ll still never get your own back.
that awkward moment when you`re alone somewhere and trying to take a picture of yourself.
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
Ever notice how many friends you have when you pull out a pack of gum?
I rather read the software license agreement for my computer than some peoples Facebook status drama on my newfeeds