Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I want rich people problems. Like where to park my yacht.
From now on when skinny girls say they`re fat I`m just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.
How can I love nature when it did this to my hair?
is battling with eyelids
Big deal, Times Square, I drop the ball at least twice a week.
When I go to the gas station I always get two kinds of drinks so it appears I actually have a friend..I think they`re catching on though.
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them...
Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg, and some days you`re the guy who jumped off and hit a propeller on the way down.
Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
Why do single people take advice from other single people? That’s like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions
In other news millions of facebook user suddenly got their law degree
It’s not the holiday season unless you push your body to the brink of alcoholism and diabetes.
i made a chicken salad the other day. little bastard didn`t even eat it.