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The statement ‘Hey! Calm down!’ has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down.
Checklist: Poke People ? Delete People ? Block People ? Send Friend Requests ? Accept Friend Requests ? Ignore Chats ? Make Stupid Photoshop Pics With My Face ?....Morning chores all done.
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look. That one is shaped like an idiot
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
I like telling people to "grow up" because even if they hate me I can visit them ten years later and say "Took my advice I see"
Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they`ve been planted by a secret organization to distract us from what`s really going on
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
"I`m glad the weekends over" -Nobody ever
I am deleting my twitter right now! Not to seem paranoid but I think people are following me!
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
It`s always so awkward ending phone calls with loved ones, I always say "I love you" and they`re like, "thank you for choosing domino`s"
I swear on this f*cking chicken I will never swear again. Oops.
A sheep spends it`s entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.