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My wife even says "NO" in her sleep. The force is strong with this one.
You health nuts are gonna feel real stupid when you`re laying in the hospital dying of nothing.
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
Sorry I yelled "April Fool`s" while you were proposing to your girlfriend.
Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google and Wikipedia.
I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did, not screaming for their lives like the passengers in the back of his truck
it`s friday o clock
When you turn 21, you can legally do all the things you`ve been doing since you were 15.
Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is “Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?”
To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
Going to the toilet without your phone is like going to war without a gun
Oh the weather outside is frightful, And this booze is damn delightful
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??
24 astronauts were born in Ohio.....What is it about that state that makes people want to flee the Earth?