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Have a day. That`s about as inspirational I get.
I`m thinking about investing some serious cash in gold....or maybe some other color.
Why didn`t you tell me that I wasn`t going to like you
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible.
The next time there`s an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
I walked into the bar sober with $42 & walked out drunk with $42. But you`re right fellas, men are smarter than women.
i wish i could sleep ... but my damn A.D.D. kicks in and basically 1 sheep, 2 sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Ol McDonald had a farm, HEEEY Macerena.
If I don`t remember what I did, don`t ruin it for me by reminding me.
I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
I`ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He`s gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I`m showing these emails to his wife.
I`d imagine the only thing worse then getting your period is not getting your period.
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it`s an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island.
Offering a hobo $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.