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You can pretty much text anything as long as you put a happy face emoticon afterwards. You`re a slut :)
“Have you tried just drinking ALOT of vodka?”- me as a therapist
Yes, I realize I’m leaving early. But don’t forget, I also came in late.
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
I can’t even imagine the self control required to work at a bubble wrap factory.
If u think I talk to much, just let me know. We can talk about it!
I don`t always say I`m never drinking again, but when I do, I`m a f*cking liar.
Stalin should have known communism doesn`t work. There were red flags everywhere.
Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
Due to an unforeseen error during last night`s love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch.
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
Your secrets are safe with me! Odds are, I wasn’t even listening.
Smelling another person should be a choice.