Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
WORST.... APOCALYPSE..... EVER.....
I have a land line just so that I still have the option to slam the phone down when I angrily hang up on someone.
Not all guys just want s@x... I want sandwiches too.
I saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons earlier.....must be going through a tough period in her life....
Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange.
Being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
If you really loved your kids, you would teach them to say their alphabet forwards AND backwards. They`ll thank you later.
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not an egg timer?
Nascar would be so more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
Forgets to set alarm, wakes up 3 days later.
Wait,,,, What does it mean when my bride uses air quotes during the vows???
I will resolve to spend less time on Facebook..............ok, got that one out of the way.....................
Do you women realize how silly you all look with your clothes on?
Ya know what I really hate about mornings? People start talking to me!
I just ate some generic Frosted Flakes.... They"rrrrreeee alright.