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You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri, "What do women want?" She`s been talking for the last 2 days and doesn`t seem ready to shut up anytime soon.
Ah Friday...my second favorite "F" word!
Sorry I said "You`ll Do" instead of "I Do" at our wedding.
I hate when I text a girl "I love you" and she`s like "no you don`t." Like bitch, I just fapped to your profile picture, I think I`d know.
I`m allergic to gluten free diets.
How am I supposed to make great life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next?
Sometimes I mop the carpet just so my wife doesn`t ask me to help with stuff.
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
Dear Fork, I understand that we haven`t spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair. Sincerely, Spoon
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads.
As far as distractions go ... I like to think I`m a good one.
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject