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Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
Exercise... the poor person`s plastic surgery
I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man.
I would watch NASCAR if it was more like Mario Kart.
Dear Haters, I have so much more for you to be mad at me for...please be patient.
Secret Admirers are just stalkers with good PR.
I feel like water solves all problems. Wanna lose weight? drink water .. clear face ? Drink water.. Tired of your better half? Drown them
A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder.
Face down, a$$ up ... that`s the way I tie my shoes.
North West: Daddy what were you famous for? Kanye: rapping. North West: Mommy what were you famous for? ((awkward silence))
For every idiot proof system devised, a new and improved idiot will arise to overcome it.
I can think of other ways to eat fresh, but I`ll settle for this subway sandwich.
When the zombie apocalypse happens, I’m going to blast Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”, while the zombies chase us, just to lighten the mood.
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.