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Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
I don`t know what`s more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
Sometimes it takes me 8 hours to get nothing done.
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
Exercising can add years to your life. For example I jogged 4 miles today and now I feel like I`m 73.
I hate it when I think I`m buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they`re just REGULAR donuts...
Ride me like you stole me.
You said you wanted my advice, but I see you haven’t f*cked off or died yet.
I wish these people who sing songs on the radio would learn the words to the song, they keep messing me up!!
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
I`ve seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can`t have any more food and I`m never ready for that kind of commitment.
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
That awkward moment when your trapped in the corner of your shower because the hot water ran out.