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One trenta cheeseburger please.
I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don`t even like.
My dad`s TV volume is always set at "f*ck the neighbors".
If I was a cab driver I`d yell "ROAD TRIP" every time I got a passenger
I feel like there’s something missing in my life and I don’t know if it’s a person, a puppy, or just a burrito.
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
Hot singles in your area are dating each other while you sit alone staring at your phone.
Why doesn`t, "I have a headache!" work for when I don`t want to mow the yard?
Fashion is what you call hideous clothes that are really expensive
Humpty Dumpty was pushed I tell ya. PUSHED!!!!!!
I`m so lonely that my cat owns a cat.
People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.
I`m at that "licking peanutbutter off a spoon" time to go grocery shopping point....