Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"It`s not a pyramid scheme" is a phrase almost exclusively used by people involved in pyramid schemes
Netflix is soo much better than going out and pretending to like people.
Non alcoholic beer is like a porn movie on the radio
I need my decision making privileges taken away.
White girls be like: I`ll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please.
Why can`t my coworkers just play on the Internet like normal people instead of trying to engage me in conversation.
Girlfriend said she felt she looked fat, tired, and ugly. Said she needed a compliment. I told her that her eyesight was nearly flawless.
I`d like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends!
They should really be Middle-Age Mutant Business Turtles by now.
It`s only October 3rd and I`ve already beaten the sh!t out of two motion activated skeletons at store entrances.
I found a dollar in my bed this morning... Following my excitement was a flash of panic as I checked all my teeth
Why isn`t there a roomba that cuts grass? Probably some stupid law about sending a blade wielding robot out into the neighborhood.
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
Why do we even ask rhetorical questions?
I didn`t know until this week that so many people I know are politicians...