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You call the shots. I`ll drink them.
Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
If I rapped I would have to start doing way more stuff because only so many things rhyme with couch.
My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
99% of people in this world are stupid. Luckily I`m part of the other 5%.
Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder.
My cats always look at me like I should have planned something for us to do.
Why non-smokers don`t take bubble blowing breaks is beyond me
The best part about going to Wal-Mart is having the book aisles all to yourself.
This bar doesn’t know it yet, but it’s about to be karaoke night.
I don`t care if its a scam! Just the fact that the Prince of Nigeria sends me personal email makes me feel special!
You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.