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is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.
"Haha" - me when I don`t understand the reference
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re a terrible person and had it coming.
That awkward moment when you run into someone and there`s no where to hide
Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
My RSVP : I`ll be attending your wedding alone but consuming enough cake and alcohol for at least two.
My wife gives me the speaking treatment.
I didn`t get your text (phrase) - I got your text, I was just too lazy to respond.
I just became a professional Counterfeiter, I even have the certificates to prove it.
The "I got your nose" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she`ll call security.
I just saw a bus that you would look amazing under.
Time flies when you`re throwing watches.
props to the parent at the mall that walked up afterward to ask santa what his kid wanted lol
When I was a teenager, a "selfie" meant something totally different than it does today.
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?