Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Pretty sure autocorrect and Siri talk shit about me behind my back.
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
Well...today is the day. Just gotta build up the nerve to tell my dog she is adopted.
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
Nothing ruins hump day like not getting humped.
I am pretty sure dry cleaning is a scam where they just laugh and rub money on your clothes then hang them back up in a plastic bag.
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
There’s actually a thing called “Play Dates “ in 2018. In 1984 we called that “Going outside to play”
okay it was me..... I did it ..... I let the dogs out
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
I`m confused by this "It`s 5 o`clock somewhere" statement. Bars open at 11. Idiots.
I`ve created a new gym to help with the child obesity problem. There is no building, I am just slowly driving around neighborhoods in an ice cream truck without ever stopping.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much sh!t to carry.
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.