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Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other, it`s given me another reason to stare.
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
One man`s sarcastic answer, is another man`s stupid question
Who do you have to sleep with around here to sleep with someone around here?!
I propose a toast to the booze for making life seem tolerable.
Someone’s therapist knows all about you.
When your girlfriend says do what ever you want. Do not do what ever you want!
If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe`s poker table you`re too mature for me.
Just as I predicted, today was in fact a new day!
This hangover feels like... I should take a shot.
My lucks so bad if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying.
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she`s going to get me something.
I need something that`s more than coffee but less than cocaine.
I once dated a Rockette with Tourette`s. Talk about kicking and screaming!
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.