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Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren`t talking?
I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
Do you ever notice that when you´re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
My phone battery lasts longer than relationships these days
The only human interaction I want for the rest of the day is the exchange of money between me and the liquor store cashier
What idiot decided to call them marijuana dispensaries and not grass stations?
Just saw a homeless guy sleeping in a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. It must be his alarm system.
When in doubt, procrastinate.
My therapist says I am too preoccupied by vengeance.... We`ll see about that.
Of course the Pilgrims had a lot to be thankful for, all their in-laws were back in Europe.
If money can’t buy happiness explain pizza.
When I think of a selfie, I`m not sure it`s the same thing you`re thinking of
According to WebMD I have déjà vu... but not only that, I also have déjà vu according to WebMD.
I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he`s fired!!