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I find you`re total lack of ambition is inspiring.
Sorry, kids. It appears ninjas ate all of our Halloween candy.
If you watch Intervention backwards, it`s about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.
If you have a tattoo on your face, you`ve lost the right to ask me what I`m looking at.
There are over 10 different flavors of Ramen Noodles, yet they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
You`d be surprised at how many times I`ve gone home, when i hear someone tell me "Go hard or Go home".
The TV is so loud! But not quite loud enough to make me get up and get the remote.
You don`t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Homes are 750 square feet larger today than they were 30 years ago. Unfortunately, so are most Americans.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
"Nothing there? Better bark at it." - my dog
Imagine how out of control drinking would if we didn`t have hangovers
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for — in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.
That`s it!! I`m never drinking again until tomorrow.