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Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
I have a fold up treadmill under my fold up bed, so by the time I get the treadmill set up, I`m like "That`s enough exercise for today"
You know those people who get all excited and lovey with puppies at pet stores? Same. But I`m in a liquor store.
I used to make fun of my dog for barking at dogs on TV until I caught myself in the car pulling over for a siren on the radio.
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
Beer is like sex. When it’s good it’s good…when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
If your friends can accurately guess your age, you need to find dumber friends.
This recliner and I go way back.
Why does it have to be bacon OR sausage?
I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.
What is it about being blind that makes people want to walk their dog all the time?
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.
Noise canceling toilets should be a thing.