Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My mother always told me to never quit something I`m good at. So here is to her for making me realize that i`m good at being drunk!
Its all fun and games until you realize your Capri Sun has no straw.
Getting back with your ex is like taking a shower and putting back on your dirty underwear.
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
The first snow of spring is always the most beautiful
I hate when the weather man says there is a chance of sprinkles in the forecast...makes me want donuts!!
I`d rather run a marathon than listen to someone talk about running a marathon.
You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
Share this if you know someone who is alive today simply because you don`t want to go to prison.
If you want to call a family meeting just turn off the wifi router and wait in the room in which it is located
I`m more indecisive than a John in a brothel with gold credit card.
Doing something weird and thinking “this is why I’m single”.
I’m not saying I need to manscape, but when I get an erection it looks like Pinocchio has joined the Taliban.