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At first, I had my doubts about using autocorrect. But my new phone probed me wrong. PROVED DAMNIT! PROVED!
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
When the cashier asks "How`s your day going?" I reply "I`m buying 3 bottles of wine, it`s clearly only getting better."
An apple a day is bullsh!t. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
From what I can gather, men hit their sexual peak around age 18. And women hit theirs as soon as the divorce is final.
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I`m right.
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
My goal this weekend is to move just enough each day so that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead
Guys I can`t be leave I`m sharing this with you, but I saw my self on TV. After I turned it off.
Every time someone says "Have a nice day!", I yell "DON`T F**KING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
I don`t know if my stomach is growling cuz I`m hungry or if that`s my liver crying cuz it`s the weekend.
I don`t know why you are complaining about your appearance, your personality is even worse.
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie