Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, please take them off.
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
I woke up this morning and my "check liver" light was on.
Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs.
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn`t affect the price of Vodka!
People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with "Go away."
Next time one of your friends leave their Facebook open, randomly pick one of their friends and like all 973 of their photos.
I`d like to be poor for a day, because being poor everyday gets to be real annoying after awhile.
I`ve never gone to bed with an ugly woman. Woken up to a whole bunch of them though.
If I`ve learned anything from the Kardashians it`s that I shouldn`t let my complete lack of talent hold me back.
You can get super human strength when put in life or death situations. Last night I uncorked a bottle of wine with my teeth during a tantrum...
I’m holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team.
Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone.
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.