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Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts.
I told you I was trouble. You should have listened to me instead of staring at my boobs.
MISSED CONNECTION: I gave you the Heimlich maneuver on Maine St. You insisted you weren’t choking and put up a good fight.
I suffer from paranoid-schizophrenic indifference. I really don`t care what the voices in my head are saying behind my back.
Wanted: Magic hat for a snowman
Remeber that time we came to work and we were excited? Me neither.
Why can`t everyday be football Sunday?
Time to turn over a new leaf ... With my luck it’ll be poison ivy.
I can`t wait to find my soul mate so I can start sleeping on the couch.
Half-Drunk is a waste of money.
are you free tomorrow ?! no I am f**king expensive !!
I`ll CUT you...!!!!!!!!...... A slice of pizza, cause I`m a sharer:)
I`m super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I`m also wearing a cape.
Relationship has 12 letters, but then again so does alcohollllll
Never do anything for money. Unless it’s a lot of money. Then do anything.