Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
Every woman in this world is beautiful...........except for the ugly ones!
Your lights are on but I see someone’s been playing with your dimmer switch.
Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
"I got this." Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
Women have a lot more experience dealing with bloodstains than men. Men are convicted of murder a lot more than women. Coincidence?
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends` food looked like.
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
I told everybody at work that I`ve got 18 cats just to make sure none of them ever want to come over for anything.
Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
Can I use my Mastercard to make my Visa payment?
I just want you to be happy. And naked.
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can’t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.