Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hair pulling during sex is hot ... unless the whole wig comes off.
Between Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, Castle, and Monk...I am now fairly confident I can get away with pretty much anything.
Winter needs to calm the f*ck down
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
I haven`t been this disappointed since I first saw a real hedgehog and it wasn`t blue.
I scratch my a$$ way to much to chew my fingernails...
Why don`t strip clubs do Black Friday? It would be the one place I would camp out to go in.
I`d like to thank the bars for being there for me.
Bacon is the only exception that does not fall under the 5 second rule for dropped food.
Weird how old people suddenly stop being so deaf the second you put music they don’t like on
It’s not weird to talk to yourself, it’s just weird when someone else hears you talking to yourself.
I like to walk by a chick in slow motion so she thinks i`m the one
Once my ex knocked on my door & then shouted that it was her, so I texted “im not home” then seconds later I texted “if u happen to be here”