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In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
Meditation never worked for me, so I tried something even better..."Beditation"! You lay down close your eyes and you wake up an hour and a half later!
Wife is out of town until tomorrow night. Anyone wanna come sit on the other end of the sofa and ignore me?
Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
I’m gonna have to get new pets, I’m running out of passwords.
All the coffee in Colombia couldn`t make me a morning person.
I don`t know why people say life is short....this seems to be taking forever.
My dentist said that bacon and soda works the same as toothpaste. Friends have said she meant baking soda....but I disagree. :)
The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth.
I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
Just made eye contact with a guy while licking my lips ... I think I need to kill him now.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together
I always hear people say that a dog is man`s best friend, but I don`t even have enemies who`ll look me dead in my face while taking a sh!t on my carpet.
Somewhere in the world right now, somebody is buying a house based on its potential for great bathroom selfies.
You`re really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women