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Ain’t no sandwich when she’s gone.
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
My parents would hide fruit roll ups on top of the refrigerator, where I couldn`t reach them. Then leave chemicals right under the sink.
I`m always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn’t enough motivation to get off the couch.
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
Chess says everything about men and women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
I wish Monday was a figment of my imagination.
It`s hard to look like a bad-ass when you`re slurping on a strawberry smoothie.
I know I`ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
You´re never too old to learn something stupid.
Man I love watching women`s curling in the Olympics. It`s the only time I get to drink beer while cheering on women sweeping and no one slaps me.
Having the worst day ever. All traffic lights I passed were green so I had to stop on the side of the road to check my Facebook like some caveman.