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Types of like on facebook: 1.Stalker like. 2.Crush like. 3.I wanna bang you like. 4.Agree like 5.Pity like.
Cooking Tip: If you`re tired of always having to boil water everytime you make pasta, boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later ... you`re welcome!
That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on the bed and it bounces off 3 walls, breaks 2 lamps and kills a cat...
You haven`t really made it until people start using your name as a verb.
Minnesota is my favorite state that sounds like it`s a small soft drink.
I had to go on two diets because one wasn`t giving me enough food.
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. It was way too literal for me.
I’m tired of chasing my dreams, I`m just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
After a night of heavily drinkin` there`s one thing I can`t stand...and that`s up.
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…
love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.
At my age, my biggest fantasy is to sleep through the night without having to pee every two hours.
I try and inspire at least one person everyday to leave me the f*ck alone.