Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Facebook: Saving us money on birthday cards since 2004
That logical moment when you`re watching Home Alone 2 wondering how child services haven`t taken him away from his parents yet.
I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
It`s not the torch she carries for me that has me worried, it`s the gas can in her other hand.
whenever i`m bored I just expect at any moment for the Koolaid man to break through my wall and take me on a deliciously refreshing adventure!
Upside to hurricanes... you might get a free boat delivered to your front yard.
How can it be considered stealing when the WiFi signal is trespassing in my house?
Sometimes I whisper, "I`m on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world...
The best thing about owning a Smart Car is if you get too drunk at the bar you can just carry it home.
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
I just keep telling myself you guys don`t have sex either.
Bored? Text "Our condom broke." to a random number
i have noticed you notice me noticing you
Who did you vote for?? Clinton ? Trump ? Vodka