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Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.
I usually don`t argue with the doctor but I don`t think "Batshit Crazy" is a legitimate medical term.
You’re going to make some cats very happy one day.
How old were you when you found out your parents were using Santa Claus as a behavior-modification tool?
MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
my 2012 new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
I was playing catch phrase with my family and the phrase I got was `pearl necklace` .. And then I ruined family time...
Who`s further now, the Energizer Bunny or Voyager 1?
I remember when going viral meant having to tell several people they better get tested.
I wish they made bar-stools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
Lay-Z: My rapper name.
I live for those really small but special moments in life, like when I see the waiter bringing my food to the table.
Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby.
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.