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My train of thought likes to circle around the station a few times, take some wrong turns, and end up totally lost.
Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
If you workout and don`t post a status about it on Facebook, do you still lose weight?
Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
How many facebook friends do you have that if they posted "I`m depressed and on the edge", your first thought would be to poke them?
I won’t come to your party unless you have an animal I can spend the whole time hanging out with.
People who don’t understand sarcasm are awesome.
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well.
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
When someone yells stop, I don`t know if it`s in the name of love, it`s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.
The sooner one of you ladies takes ‘one for the team’ and becomes my girlfriend, they sooner I leave the REST of you alone!
If people would moan loudly during a pat down, the line would move much quicker.
I’m glad to know that we will never have to worry about a lack of weathermen. I mean, I know at least a couple dozen on Facebook.