Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you.
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say “Give me the dumbest thing you can think of.”
Down on yourself for being lazy? Keep in mind the Greeks believed their GODS lived atop a very hikeable mountain and no one went to check.
My dog reminds me of my ex. She doesn`t pull her weight financially and she`s scared of the vacuum.
My living room is pretty much a fat camp without rules.
Asking a girl what exactly she looks for in a guy is like asking her "what exactly do I have to do to get friendzoned?
Well ... here I am ... cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
Ha, SUCKA`S! I just smuggled a bag of popcorn into the movie theater. Now I just need to borrow their microwave.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper place mats with puzzles...GAME ON!!
I like long walks on the beach and drives through Taco Bells drive-thru.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
TIP OF THE DAY: If you can`t afford porn, just turn on tennis and shut your eyes.
Some people should come with subtitles.