Daily Silly Status

whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots

Caught myself yelling "F*CK YOU" to my burrito for dripping on my pants, if you were wondering who`s raising the next generation.

Once your pants catch fire, the fact that you`re lying becomes less important.

One man`s girlfriend is another man`s password.

I used to wake up feeling like a million bucks. Now I wake up feeling like a bounced check.

My friend told me he wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don`t think he`d be a good secret agent.

Oh, you have a brand new boyfriend? Please tell me more about how you think he`s `the one`.

I wish more events in life involved dumping a cooler full of Gatorade on people.

Hey bartender, pour me another, I see ugly people.

When people say, "You look familiar," i like to reply with, "Do you watch porn?"

Is it just me or does the word "retweet" bring up images of Elmer Fudd commanding an army on the defensive?

I`m CDO. It`s like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!

Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy

I like working from home. It`s much more comfortable than sleeping in my cubicle.

I’m trying to read a book about how to relax, but I keep falling asleep