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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.
Drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
You know you are paranoid when you think this joke is about you.
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I`m not a good liar.
Why don`t strip clubs do Black Friday? It would be the one place I would camp out to go in.
More people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who`s not interested.
I didn`t have access to Facebook for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts.
I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don`t think they`re ugly or something.
I feel sorry for people who take everything way too seriously.
I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.