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feels like getting some work done ... so I am sitting down until the feeling passes.
Have you noticed that tire stores never hang big banners that say "Blowout Sale"?
Lots of people waiting in lines today. Did a new iPhone just come out?
I need new swear words.
I told my 4-year-old she couldn`t open any candy yet. So she ate a Tootsie Roll with the wrapper still on it. That kid is a problem solver.
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
I like pressing F5. It`s so refreshing.
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
I get you, anti-evolution people. I`m too lazy to learn science too.
Just completed a 0.00 mile run - preceded by 11 oreo cookies
feels guilty for not spending more time with my kids. I should really get them a Facebook account.
Inspirational status of the day: Don’t be a douche.
No matter how many lives you have in Candy Crush, you’ll still never get your own back.
Sleep is like a time machine to breakfast.
If one door closes and another one opens, seek help your house is haunted.