Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
I’m that kind of person who between two choices always pick the wrong one.
My day at work wasn`t easy, I just made it look that way!
Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.
So far, I`ve had exactly "call my ex" number of beers tonight!!!
In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth. Everything else was made in China
I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure a lot of economic problems could be solved by extending the McDonald`s breakfast menu back out to 11am.
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
I shake my bottled water so the H`s & O`s are evenly distributed.
Ban pre-shredded cheese! Make America grate again.
The problem with some people is that they’re alive.
The saying, "Say no to drugs" has always made me laugh. If you`re talking to drugs, it`s probably too late to say no to them.
Just once I want my skills to be so urgently required that a helicopter is dispatched to pick me up.