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Sorry, I can`t today ... My sister`s friend`s mother`s grandpa`s brother`s grandson`s cousin`s uncle`s fish died. Yes, it was tragic.
The only thing I hate about beer is that there`s absolutely nothing I hate about beer... :)
I bet Batman`s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he admits.
Adulthood – Pros: You can now eat ice cream in bed. Cons: This will somehow make you sadder.
One day we the women will rap the men lets see how they like it!
People who say 45 minutes past the hour must be the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 month olds
Much like a dog, men will pretty much do anything you want if you feed them first.
I went to buy condoms and the cashier just said "yeah right" and put em back on the shelf
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
People who spend their lives complaining how other people are doing nothing productive for society are doing nothing productive for society.
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
Meanwhile one million men got to enjoy a quiet afternoon at home without anyone nagging them.
If all the world´s a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.
I just realized that Mr. Rogers had the first man-cave.