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I don`t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you`re in a shark tank!
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
The best thing about telepathy is... I know, right!?
My new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth
Today is International Women’s Day. It was actually supposed to be held 2 days ago but they took too long to get ready.
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
You make your own luck`.. a saying most popular with lucky f*ckers
I hate it when I’m singing along to a song, and the artist gets it wrong.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
When your kids become teenagers, it`s important to have a dog so someone in the house is happy to see you.
omg I just found out I`m allergic to exercise...at first I get all flushed, then I break out in a sweat, my heart starts pounding really fast, then I cant breath........i wont be doing that again!
A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah`s ark.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes and sighing heavily and crossing her arms and holding in a fart.
Peace on earth would be nice, but not gaining 20 pounds over the holidays would be a Christmas miracle.