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It`s not so much blowing my diet as preventing the fudgesicles from developing freezer burn.
Sometimes I feel bad about the things I say and do, but today is not one of those days.
I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
I just found if you tuck one part of a pants leg into your sock,,,, people expect less of you.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza
Why do sandwiches taste so much better when they are cut diagonally?
I should win an Oscar for acting like I`m busy at work.
Make yourself indispensable at work by hiding everything.
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she`s going to get me something.
The only difference between Black Friday and a zombie apocalypse is that zombies don`t care if you get the last iPad Mini.
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
Time to get Star Spangled hammered. Happy 4th you crazy Americans.
You should NEVER say and I mean NEVER say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she`s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at the moment.. :|