Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m "oh my god, gag me with a spoon" years old.
Pepper spray: The perfect way to end an annoyingly long conversation.
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up
The TV is so loud! But not quite loud enough to make me get up and get the remote.
About to stick a pin in your voodoo doll.... Brace yourself.
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me more than a week to realize that I`m not at work anymore....
They say that when one door closes, another one opens. Apparently, "they" have never been to jail.
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
Not trying to be racist or ignorant but... seriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike.
I thought there`d be more sex during my sexual prime.
My relationship is like an iPhone, I don`t have an iPhone.
I really worried about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.
I love how television has redefined the word `marathon` to the exact opposite of physical exercise