Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she’s not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on the internet right now.
Not all guys just want s@x... I want sandwiches too.
Yes, I realize I’m leaving early. But don’t forget, I also came in late.
I can`t believe The Stones are still doing it after all these years. Someday I want to have a marriage like Fred and Wilma.
It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home ... right?
My doctor told me, "DON`T mix this medicine with alcohol or you could wake up somewhere naked with a monkey on your arm." CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
There’s really no reason to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
I never met a teenager driving a luxury car that I didn’t hate.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run, but I did break a sweat.
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
Going to Colorado this weekend to go ... "Hiking"
Posting inspirational quotes online is the first sign to depression.
If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not your true friends.