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Sometimes I wish I was full of pizza instead of emotions.
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
A show called the view shouldn`t hurt your eyes
Irony: Asking God to help you on a science exam.
Remember, you can always run from your problems. Unless your problem is a Cheetah.....then you`re screwed!
I hate it when people dont know the differece between Ur and U`r
Home is where a man hangs his hat. Unless that man is wearing a sun visor. Then he probably dosent have a home or friends..
Facebook: The only place where you get excited when strangers follow you.
Having a dirty mind makes simple conversation much more exciting!
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools
my doctor says I have the body of a 20 year old, the mind of a 30 year old and the wisdom of a someone twice my age, to which my husband asked " What did he say about your fat ass?" I said to my husband, "Oh , the doctor didn`t say anything about you dear!".
Being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible
Learned a lesson from my dog tonight ... No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.
Running away doesn`t help your problems, unless you`re fat. Then yeah, run away.
I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn.....it`s dead yarn now, though.