Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I always confuse the words exotic and erotic. That made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.
"Nineteen letters long" is 19 letters long.
"I’m not drunk!” is an argument only very drunk people think they can win
I think I`m approaching my "best if used by" date
Hoodie Footie Pajamas from Pajamagram; because nothing tells a girl you love her like giving her something to cover up her body from head to toe before she gets in your bed.
I am a Mother hear me roar.....especially when my kids decide to make a kite out of my granny panties and fly it down the street.
Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person`s confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.
You know you`re fat when you run out of breath eating.
The new Jungle Book movie might be confusing to today`s kids who don`t remember when we had jungles. Or books...
Being normal is boring.
Why is there a show called "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!
A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."