Daily Silly Status

Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you`re in.

When I say “the other day” I could mean yesterday or 5 years ago there’s no in between.

Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible.

For once I`d like to see "It`s been a crappy year, mainly cause your were part of it"

Thanks to the State Farm commercial now I want a Falcon.

"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-

My new workout video is 20 minutes of me vacuuming over the same piece of string instead of picking it up.

Girls probably spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.

Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.

I don`t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He`s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here

I`m not a gamer, but I can be as lazy as one.

I’ve been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I’m actually talking to someone.

I`m painting a blue square in the backyard... so Google Earth thinks I have a pool.

If women kept their feelings to themselves would they explode? Guess we`ll never know.

You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.