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Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she`ll get your paychecks.
How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
How did the person who invented the first clock know what time it was?
We need to DETACH from all this technology and live life in the moment. Sent from my iPhone
I twisted my ankle playing vodka last night.. Next question
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven`t pooped it out yet ... Really scared now!
In retrospect, I suppose "harder" wasn`t the best choice of a safe word.
Dimples are considered a facial muscledeformity in the medical world.
I don`t get why girls get so offended by sexist jokes..I think they are just ovary-acting. Seriously..
I painted a banner for our annual family picnic, but my Mom thought "Celebrating 100 Years of Undiagnosed Mental Illness" was inappropriate.
They always say "love makes the world go around"... They spelled beer wrong.
We live in a time where "He is hot" is more important than "He is a nice guy."