Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you keep doing what you´ve always done, you´ll keep getting what you´ve always gotten.
When you`re trying to change the channel on the tv, and the remote starts ringing, you`re probably drunk.
How the hell do you call Batman during the day?
When my kids ask what a word means, I tell them to bring me a dictionary. Then I smack them with it, and tell them to Google that shi t.
If there is one-thing in this would i don`t like being thought is ... a lesson.
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
Sometimes I post crazy shit just to see if my friend`s list will drop a few #`s
I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
In grade school it’s called bullying but when you get older it’s referred to as upper level management.
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders.
Life Insurance: Let me get this right. I pay you until I die, then someone ELSE gets the money?
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
I am convinced God only created six days and the devil added Monday.
I put on real clothes today. What more do you want from me?
I`m out like a fat kid playing dodge ball..